Men and women
absolutely do use language differently, but that is not to say that they do not
also use language in similar ways. As
much as we would like to dispel gender notions, it remains a truth that they
exist, and the gender expectations of both sexes vary to the extent that we are
groomed early on to use language differently. However, I also believe some of
the use of language differences stem from genetic and personality differences.
Case in point, I
have raised two children who are now adults. My eldest a daughter, and six
years behind her, I have a son. My
daughter genetically takes more after their father, and my son, more after me. Interesting enough, while some of the gender
differences cited in our text regarding language use are clearly witnessed in
my two children, ex: public matters (sports,
news, etc.) more discussed by my son, more detailed color terms used by my
daughter; and definitely, more tags such as “you know” and “right” are used by
my daughter. However, that’s about where
the traditional tendencies of each gender end.
Our entire
family is sports and competitive minded, focused on individual achievement and
supporting one another in these endeavors and verbally discussing them equally,
regardless of gender. This has now
carried over into both my children’s families with their children. And, while my son is definitely a strong
male, he tends to be more nurturing in relationships like I am than his sister
who takes genetically and personality wise more after their father. My son is more activity minded though,
whereas my daughter enjoys activities but will sometimes talk away about
various relationship matters throughout much of the activity.
I think
genetics as much as gender expectations have at least some affect as to how
male and female use language differently, and while both genders have
similarities, we do well to take individual personalities, and to some extent,
even birth order into consideration.
I love the title of your blog! After reading your blog it made me think about my own family dynamics. In relationships I tend to take more of a “male” role and spend less time talking about feelings and intimacy and more time talking about more superficial things. My daughter is very much like me but my son is the extreme opposite. He likes to talk about everything, he is very sweet and kind and loves to say things to make other people feel good. He is very nurturing which is not always common in a boy. And it’s funny because his nurturing side brings out that side in me and he is the only person that brings it out. Very interesting dynamic!
ReplyDeleteYes genetics is a huge thing. It is interesting but many different cultures see things differently and also communicate in many different ways. This is largely true in cultures outside of the United States where women really don't have a voice. It really all depends on how you are raised. There are several differences these days. The culture has changed and even satired in television shows like Modern Family. Before, television was filled with men like Don Draper and that just isn't the case anymore. It is kind of funny to think about though. Watch a show like Bewitched or the Brady Bunch and then Modern Family. It's interesting how communication has changed between men and women.
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