It’s a stated fact we automatically judge others in the
first few seconds (5-7) when we first see them.
We, also, have a tendency to judge others more harshly and ourselves
more charitably. I feel it’s important
for each of us to make a more conscious effort to be more cognitive of judging
information as oppose to judging people.
It is difficult not to make initial assessments,
judging and categorizing others. It tends to be a natural behavior, though some may disagree and prefer to categorize it as a learned behavior. Regardless, things are never all this or all that...
anymore than people are ever all good or all bad. We are all complex beings
with varying lenses through which we view others and life experiences. My
journey is not yours, nor is your journey mine. We will do well to stop the
personal dogma, regardless of what lens we see through. Let's work (myself, so
included!) to give others more grace, especially those who we have the most
difficulty with... may we help each other reach greater heights, touch more
lives in a positive way, and judge ourselves more honestly... my personal
melancholy thought of the day.
From a scholarly point of view, it is said that when we
exercise “cognitive complexity is a mark of maturity and is necessary for good
communication” (49). When we lack in cognitive complexity and tend to use one
or two simple constructs, ignoring contradictory information or experiences, we
struggle to have a large, rich, and varied set of personal constructs and
mature.
Empathy and active listening is critical in reaching for
less judgment of others, but only if it’s genuine. So next time we rush to judge others, let’s
take a moment, pause, reflect, and reconsider how we can better respond in a
caring, nurturing, and respectful manner regardless of whether we agree with or
like the individual or not. We can chose
to disagree without being disagreeable or judgmental, but it takes effort and
retraining our natural tendencies.
I found your posting agreeable and fun to read as I shared most of your perspective. I just wanted to share a few thoughts from a different perspective and see what you think of them. I agree that most people can benefit from having a much greater empathy and understanding of our internal bias and how to adjust these biases to be more aligned with reality. Yes, no one situation, interaction, war, is truly all good or all evil, however it is our interpretation of it at that very specific moment in time that sometimes makes all the difference. I’m going to provide an example of an extreme situation as contrast to the approach provided in your post, specifically relating to how we should judge others. Some men are all hanging out at some event, and one offends another. The non-verbal solution to this altercation can oftentimes be that one simply physically punches the other. Both then take a second to recognize that one was out of line, and they move on. No words need be spoken, but this is the male equivalent of responding in a caring, nurturing and respectful manner.
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