Understanding My Dear Friend in a New Way

One of my dearest and closest friends from my Sierra college experience is of Filipino ancestry and was raised in Hong Kong.  He is an amazing individual who recently transferred to UCLA.  We worked very closely in leadership together on a number of on and off campus projects.  We had to constantly learn how to adapt to one another’s extremely opposite communication and leadership styles; mine which is known to be more direct than most (male or female), and his which I viewed as too passive for leadership. This seemed odd as I knew we both possessed strong leadership abilities. I attributed our differences more to personality differences than cultural since he seemed well integrated into American society. 

I have come to realize after reading this week’s text that our communication style differences have most likely had more to do with the fact that he originally comes from a high-context culture and I come from a low-context culture. 

He does not have an automobile, and the Sacramento region is not known for its ease of public transportation.  Given my recent understanding of high and low context cultures’ affect on communication, I now understand why he never directly asked me for a ride somewhere, but would indirectly mention his “working on transportation.”  I often picked him up in my car, and would sometimes be frustrated that he didn’t just come out and ask me to pick him up. I mentioned to this to him many times, asking him to “just come out and ask me.”  I understand now that he was simply doing what he felt was proper and respectful.  He was not being passive.  He was conducting himself according to his high-context, verbal-indirectness cultural upbringing.  I can’t wait to share this new revelation and understanding with him when I visit him in southern California next month.